worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
