i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Less talking, more tequila
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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