HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
