Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
