Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
