new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
