I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
