Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
