I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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