And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
