I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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