life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
