We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
