I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
