Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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