We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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