Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
