that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm both gender and math confused
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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