So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
