I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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