Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
