i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
