I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
