gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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