he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just had sex on a roof
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
