If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
