I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
