The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
