So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
