Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
