Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
