I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
