she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
