This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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