You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
