is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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