I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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