Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
