I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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