Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
