I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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