i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
