She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
