So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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