I think I just saw someone hide a body.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
