Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize