Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize