She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
