you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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