I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
