38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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