shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
