You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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