she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I didn't notice because vodka
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
