This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
