Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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