Nicole vs. Life
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize