Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my being single is dangerous.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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