Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
