I'm so fucking centered right now
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
