She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
