my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
