How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
