well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
