I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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