I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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