thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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